A fine spring greetings!

And a beautiful one it is in Oregon, particularly because animals of all shapes and sizes have reappeared to beautify the planet, and this can only mean one thing: Bigfoot Season.

 

Now, I’m not suggesting we should hunt and/or kill bigfoot, or even track him/her in order to collect footprints, photographs, or other evidence of his/her existence, but rather, let’s tantalize him/her with modern products and conveniences.  I, for one, spend my weekends camouflaged in the bushes of the Cascades Mountains, planting trails of meat to stockpiles of Us and People magazines.  I smear pheromones around lone IPod minis with a full storage of the latest top 40.   I pool the sweet, sweet nectar of honey on bottles of Budweiser.  Oh yes, the market can yet expand.

 

And speaking of weird phenomena, remember crop circles?

 

 

  

 

 

These are bloody bizarre, to say the least…

 

 

And remember how these guys admitted in 1991 to starting the whole crazy crop circle fiasco in 1978?  They used fancy technology like boards and strings, and baffled people into believing in UFO communication through crop circles for 13 years?  Wow.  One problem: others claim that crop circles have been documented throughout the 20^th century, and possibly even as far back as the 1600s.  Not to mention those wily Englishmen would have had to have inspired copycats in over 30 countries including the U.S., Canada, Italy, Switzerland, Germany, and others.  Though it is curious that most crop circles have appeared in developed nations.  Others also claim that crop circles lack physical damage characteristics that would necessarily follow crushing by a board and human weight, such as a lack of plant damage, soil compression, and footprints.  Now, it’s completely possible that all the “experts” on one side of the argument are full of shit, and all the “experts” on the other side are telling the utmost truth, but since that kind of speculation can tear down any base of knowledge (e.g., all the claimers that the “Earth is round” are full of shit, all the Flat Earth Society members are telling the truth…oh shit, we have a problem), so I’ll have to accept, for the moment, that both sides have a statistically equal number of bull-shitters and truth-tellers.  Most people would likely slough it off at this point and say “ah, humans admitted to doing it, therefore it must have been done by human hoaxers”.  However, and I’m not suggesting that aliens or UFOs really have anything at all to do with this, nor am I speculating as to whether either exists*, but is it really more ludicrous to suggest that aliens (presuming they have superior technology and an artsy means of communicating with us) did this than to suggest that humans have been creating intricate designs in crop fields for 100+ years in multiple countries for no apparent reason?  Could it be some Masonic conspiracy, or perhaps a joke concocted by the local Illuminati?  Perhaps. But, aliens?  C’mon…

 

But then, strange things like this happened:

And this was discovered:

And this is still around:

And these once existed:

…unless you’re Ben Stein.

 

On the other hand, humans did this:

And this:

We fought this guy , whose name was Schicklgruber for some time, and later he burned books.

Eleven years later our government burned this guy’s books, who had fled from the previous guy’s regime for suggesting the former’s political party was based on sexual repression…

Reminds one of this guy a bit.

Hmmm…and this guy’s story is far too weird all in all. 

 

So, the point is that the world is strange beyond explanation…and human behavior is strange beyond explanation.  So is one outlandish explanation more likely than another outlandish explanation?

 

Shit…crop circles?  I blame the giant doilies being dropped on our crops by an omnipotent grandmother.

  

 

*The acronym “UFO”, let’s remember, actually stands for “Unidentified Flying Object”, so really, any piece of matter that is not physically touching the ground, and is observed by a human who can not accurately identify it at the time, is officially a “UFO”.  I could throw dog turds into the air and claim we have experienced a UFO encounter, providing my captive audience is stupid enough not to recognize canine feces in its airborne form.