List of characters:
Professor Shortpants
Gamblor the Almighty
Didi the Frazzled Misogynist
Tybalt the Not Stolen from a More Famous Play
Umbro the Nonexistent
Deus Ex Machina the Conveniently Convenient
Stan
Act I: Scene I
Frozen food section of the local Wal-Mart
(In this scene Professor Shortpants and Didi the Frazzled Misogynist, recently married, are shopping for chocolate and diapers, not necessarily to be used together)
Professor Shortpants: “I say we simply get one of each product and combine them in the blender to find which will produce desirable taste-combinations.”
Didi the Frazzled Misogynist: “I don’t see why we would want to do that, besides, don’t you realize that I can hardly look at diapers while the seething hatred of women I carry could boil over my carefully controlled exterior at any moment, without warning?!”
Prof. SP: “Yes, but…you are a woman Didi…”
Didi the FM: “True, but the playwright wrote me in to be a misogynist without really thinking about how that would affect our consequent relationship. Not my fault really, as I also happen to be Frazzled with a capital F.”
Prof. SP: “Well, I received no such moniker, so count yourself lucky, but I suppose the title of Professor will have to suffice.” (more…)
