A fine spring greetings!

And a beautiful one it is in Oregon, particularly because animals of all shapes and sizes have reappeared to beautify the planet, and this can only mean one thing: Bigfoot Season.

 

Now, I’m not suggesting we should hunt and/or kill bigfoot, or even track him/her in order to collect footprints, photographs, or other evidence of his/her existence, but rather, let’s tantalize him/her with modern products and conveniences.  I, for one, spend my weekends camouflaged in the bushes of the Cascades Mountains, planting trails of meat to stockpiles of Us and People magazines.  I smear pheromones around lone IPod minis with a full storage of the latest top 40.   I pool the sweet, sweet nectar of honey on bottles of Budweiser.  Oh yes, the market can yet expand.

 

And speaking of weird phenomena, remember crop circles?

Farting Existentially: An Experimental Play in Three Scenes

List of characters:

Professor Shortpants

Gamblor the Almighty

Didi the Frazzled Misogynist

Tybalt the Not Stolen from a More Famous Play

Umbro the Nonexistent

Deus Ex Machina the Conveniently Convenient

Stan

 

Act I: Scene I

 

Frozen food section of the local Wal-Mart

(In this scene Professor Shortpants and Didi the Frazzled Misogynist, recently married, are shopping for chocolate and diapers, not necessarily to be used together)

 

Professor Shortpants: “I say we simply get one of each product and combine them in the blender to find which will produce desirable taste-combinations.”

Didi the Frazzled Misogynist: “I don’t see why we would want to do that, besides, don’t you realize that I can hardly look at diapers while the seething hatred of women I carry could boil over my carefully controlled exterior at any moment, without warning?!”

Prof. SP: “Yes, but…you are a woman Didi…”

Didi the FM: “True, but the playwright wrote me in to be a misogynist without really thinking about how that would affect our consequent relationship.  Not my fault really, as I also happen to be Frazzled with a capital F.”

Prof. SP: “Well, I received no such moniker, so count yourself lucky, but I suppose the title of Professor will have to suffice.”

Politics as usual

I’ve been wanting to write blogs for some time, on a variety of topics, but since political blogs are how I was introduced to the medium I’m sure I will always be drawn to them.  The problem with such blogs is the same as with other forums that discuss topics: polarization of opinion without any real discussion of facts.  This pattern gradually appears everywhere, two locations I have found demonstrative: